my conclusion for my life :
let's hope it will end as soon as possible.
cant help thinking bout death now... life seems depressing... wad can i be happy bout? i hate my comp. i hate myself. i hate my brains( if i have one). i hate insects. i hate skool. i hate exams. i hate homework. i hate competition. i hate weight. i hate height. i hate looks. i hate my specs. i hate medicine. i hate doctors. i hate dentists. i hate chinese spellings. i hate noise. i hate heat. i hate weird tasting mineral water. i hate the new canteen. i hate not having enuff chemicals in e lab. i hate my hair. i hate water. i hate sweat. i hate the streets. i hate bittergourd. i hate being stubborn. i hate being human. i hate everything. BUT i love my hi-fi. i love punk rock. i love my family. i love fast food. i love my cds. i love my table. i love playing. i love sports leader. i love flowers. i love NZ. i love soft drinks. i love to scream. i love to go mad. i love to die. i love nothing more den not existing.
i am pessimistic. i am lame. i am talkative. i am idiot. i am worthless. i am stubborn. i am brainless. i am a person wit hate. i am evil. i am heartless. i am crazy. i am rude. i am potentially mentally and physically violent. i am all but jus a person waiting to die early.
so does tat convince anyone tat i shud die? (pls sae "yea, i'm convinced.")
life sucks
my comp sucks
i am a complete idiot
Am also a miserable gurl
wish i could be dead
wish i could noe meaning of life
wish i could read some minds
wish i could do sth bout my mind
wish i could do well
wish ppl aint as childish as to create 'i dun friend ya' nonsense
SUMMARY
can i die?
HOW I SPENT MY JUNE HOLS :D
1. thinking bout my funeral = i realise there may b a need to think bout my death..in case anythin happen to me, at least i have a will and letter to my parents and friends and family and blah..
a. i need a white coffin..dun wan any gold-plated stuff, i prefer silver plated ones.. :D
b. i need a nice blanket..i like blankets..but not too furry..later make me sneeze and tat may scare ppl...
c. i need a pale blue bed in the coffin..i like blue..and i wanna an orange rose or blue rose with me.. :D
d. i wanna my parents and family and friends to know i love em all..well..majority la..cant bring hate wit me..kinda sinful(if ya noe wad i mean..)
e. i wanna ppl noe..life is actually meaningful--- after you die.
f. i wanna a house, money and a bank account..i dun wanna credit card..cos i may forget to restrict myself..hee..
g. as for the rest, i will think bout it after o's..
h. i jus remembered..i wanna a nice outfit when i die..can ask my sis or wan ting help me choose? i cant really decide..(*helpless*)
2. life sucks..
3. wadever...
4. i am getting fatter..
5. tryin to lose weight but too lazy...
6. after a failed attempt to lose weight--i decide to gain height..
7. failed in an attempt to grow tall...
8. stressed bout unfinished work..
9. o's coming...die...
10. i jus realise i tot too much...
hmm...life's good so far...exams stress is unavoidable..haiz...die die would still have stress one lor...missed those pri skool and kiddy times...life seems much more carefree...haiz...
celebrated faith's super belated b'dae.. :D surprised her wit a sunflower and flower balloon... :D kinda funny too.. suppose wan ting can join drama..hee... someone wrote a testimonial for me..kinda glad and touched till i cry..haha.. :P
teresa went linkin park concert..jealous sia..i always wanted to go mad at a rock concert( my mum ish too afraid i would get trampled to death there.. :( haiz..) hee.. back to skool and seein tat weirdo in skool made me dread goin skool...DC + DC + DC...(i can read tat weirdo mind..--dc for this and tat will be the ultimate soln to everything) but nvm..since its kinda reasonable...wadever... :P ANYWAY PLS PLS PLS DUN CONFUSE ME WIT MEIJING AKA WEI NING.. thx.. :D
everyone seems frustrated wit life and studies nowadays...hmm...haiz...i am really rotting le...haiz...sometimes i wish skool continues in the hols..like tat i would feel more secure..textbooks and teachers and skools have somewhat became a security blanket for me...w/o me doing any of it i feel like shit bout it man...haiz....now i am so afraid...why trhe hell am i born in the year of dragon? wad's wit the chinese mentality man..stupid la...now parents are blaming us for not working hard enuff and blah..(tho its true most of the time) yet we blame our parents for giving birth to us in such a competitive yr...i wish i could be born in the year of tiger at least much fewer babies were born and also i would den become the elder sis...and i could get into skools i wan...haiz...and the work seems easier for tat yr...everytime a maths paper from tat yr were given i found it easier den my own yr or last yr...tho i nv really did pass those papers...at least i can score better marks...haiz.....talkin bout a maths and studies gives me bad headaches...
went out to YJ and CHao's bbq tat time was a great fun..tho mebbe not really super fun but it was nice..was wit rene and faith tat time...teresa was at the SP's side...hmm..but kinda cool at the bbq wo..and sean appeared to meet faith..but all was funny and cool...ate a new type of twisties...reminded me of someone when i eat twisties...so i better stop eatin..and i am suppose to go on diet...and i jus realise tat i am really getting fatter nowadays...haiz...
haiz..long time nv update blog le..in fact i had been rotting at home the past few days..finally could be released tml..hee..hmm..broke up le..now my life seems more 'free'..but wadever it is..i am hating the guilt i am feeling...sometimes some ppl have a way to make others feel super duper guilty...now i am super frustrated wit my life..i have spent most of my hols reading Robin Cook's books-- Shock, Invasion and Acceptable Risk...and i din do a single damn work...haiz...skool reopen tat time i sure die and rot like shit sia...HAIZ...how leh? and my life's a big mess...and my whole family is going crazy on dieting and now wad i have all day are salads..darn..in e end i cook my own instant noodles..aint my life pathetic? and tho they are all crazy over dieting they are eating durians all e time now...weird lor...haiz..my life's really pathetic..wit the stupid hmwk and stuff...sometimes i wish i graduate le..haiz...die le la...neva do a single hmwk...this is the biggest shit i got myself into man...scared now le..coming to think of it, prelims and o's coming and i am still slacking...how could this b happening!!!! DARN...STRESS AGAIN!!! HAIZ..
NaMe: WeiNing
BdAe: 02101988
NiCks: MianBao;Chicken Little
SkOoL: MJC *currently*
LoVes: Family;Friends;Food;05A301;Dancing
[[*My Past Memories*]]
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[[*The Conversations*]]
[[*My Friends*]]
Jeph's blog
Ying Jian's blog
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HuiKim's blog
RuiQi's blog
another blog of mine
[[*Credits*]]