at first i was really rather keen to blog this entry wit hatred...
but now i cant..seein my fren sad over his results..i cant bring myself to hate other ppl..
perhaps i may think tat my situation is the worst in the world...but now...maybe not...
i came to know tat Tan Wen Jian (first time i mention his full name after so many entries) he likes this gal..oh well now i understand why the gal always look at me oddly... i really do think my guessin skills quite good. ha.
anyway..i was so pissed off with him that i cried the whole of econs lect.
and when i went in for econs lect the first thing i did was call for my CT and told him "wenjian is a fucking bastard" and my teacher was so shocked. i guess first time they saw me tat vulgur.. i din mean to.. and i'm really sorry for it...but i really wanna vent out my frustrations.. i really so wanted to slap him... and make sure he kneel and beg for mercy.. but i came to think of it all.. i've gt better class den him..at least i try to carry out all my promises..him? he jus makes promises for the sake of breaking it.. wad's the point?
you're not a devoted guy for sure.. so here i am, i'll tell you
WEN JIAN YOU'RE NOT A DEVOTED GUY AS YOU THINK YOU ARE. I BELIEVED YOU TIME AND AGAIN YET ALL I GOT WAS YOUR LIES. THANKS MAN. NOW I'VE SEEN THRU YOU, THRU AND THRU..NO. I'M NOT GOING TO HATE YOU. ITS ONLY A BETRAYAL TAT I FELT. FRIENDS ARE WE? NO. WHY? COS FRIENDS HAVE TRUST. YOU? NONE. I GAVE CHANCES BUT U DIN BOTHER. SO NOW HERE I AM, CRYING NOT COS I FELT SAD FOR MYSELF BUT FOR YOU. COS YOU'LL NEVER LEARN THE TRUE MEANING OF FRIENDSHIP AND THE TRUST. I WEEP FOR YOUR PATHETIC IGNORANCE. I'LL NOT AVOID YOU, BUT ONLY PITY YOU. I NEED NONE OF YOUR CONCERN NOR YOUR SO CALLED LOVE.COS U DUNNO WAD IS LOVE. U REALLY DUNNO. I MAY NOT NOE TOO..AT LEAST I UNDERSTAND WHAT IS TRUST. YOU? DOUBT SO. I WUN HATE YOU. COS I DUN WISH TO WASTE MY TIME LE. YOU BETTER REFLECT BOUT IT. THANKS ANYWAY. I'VE LEARNT A GREAT LESSON FROM YOU.
this is for him.
i choose not to look at the contents of the box ever again. i choose to be alone for the rest of my life. i choose to be evil. i chose to love him so now i choose. wadever i am talkin about.. i dunno. oh well. i hate it when questions raced in ur head and u're tryin so hard to actually find answers to all of them.
i wonder when will i grow out of blogging.
soon?
doubt it.
i'm starting to enjoy it.
why did i ever take maths....
so freakin scared tat i cant get promoted now...
haiz..
i wish i am never born..
ppl ask me... u no need study one ar..
oh well...its true...cos i'm so slack now tat i cant believe i takin the promos soon...
i'm really not as brave as i tot.
its jus too much for me to bear le...
stress and everything... i jus wish i was never born.
now i think i caught a flu le... the mucus jus wun stop... haha...must have caught it from xue wen...haha...
its kinda sad to keep gettin sick especially when promos is round the corner..
darn.
i guess i really shud stop disgracing myself in public...haha..
and also really get down to study...
oh well.
oh...did i mention i had gastric flu and puked the hell out of me in canteen with so many ppl in sight!!! and den li ping they all was really so nice...tat they actually also mention to everyone that i puked out my ice-cream. ha. wad a joke.
loreal's nail polish really aint tat good.. quite difficult to clean off...haha... studyin is a chore for me...cant seem to concentrate...the b'dae 3 wishes i'm gonna make... let's hope it can come true... =Dbest thing bout birthdays are jus the wishes. really. gifts doesnt matter. but wishes gives me more hope den any other things..where's my fairy godmother????
if onli i could turn back time, for sure i wun let him see my weaker side.
if onli i could turn back time, i wun let him hurt me like he did.
if onli i could turn back time, i would not nod my head in consent.
if onli i could turn back time, i would beat the fuckin shit out of him.
if onli i could turn back time, i would make sure he aint gonna hurt anyone.
if onli i could turn back time, i wun allow him to get close to me.
if onli i could turn back time, i wun shed a tear for him.
if onli i could turn back time, i wun be so dependent on him.
if onli i could...
being surrounded by tots of self pity... its pathetic..really...u wun wanna feel the way i do..
pain in e heart...hurts so much tat it became my antiseptic. oh well. now is now. i dun bother. do i? ha.
why am i gal?
if i am a guy den it'll do many ppl good lo...
my mummy and daddy was hopin their second child (which is me) ish a boy.
as a boy i wun fight with my sis over clothes and stuff like that.
spend less money?!
i wun be all whinny.
oh and lots more...haha..
gals dun have a lot of choice of mates/partners/boyfrens since there are lesser males in the population...the ratio is jus not right! in addition, males die young (read this from somewhere in a magazine) so isnt tat gd!
oh boy....
haiz...
oh no. the chinese compo i jus did..is terrible..i'll flung it for sure..darn..wadever.
hmm. mebbe maths aint tat bad if i try to understand it...ha..but i still think there's a high possibility that i will flung my maths eventually...
bloggin in skool isn't tat bad...
hmmm.. okie. let's see. perhaps relationship problems had been a main thing that everyone experiences..( makin an assumption here.) the only difference is that everyone has different views to it. guys may have a heck care attitude and would adopt a wadever-i-do-now-is-none-of-your-business attitude to the girl..similarly gals can do tat as well... but usually wad i see is that gals are the weaker ones...even if gals are the one who said 'let's break up' they'll still end up regrettin or missing the guy... oh well. guess this cant be avoided.
darn.
why am i gal?
wad's wrong with me...
darn...
have this voice askin me to study but i aint doin anything...
darn...
maybe the voice is my mummy's one...
haha..
shit...
i am seriously goin bonkers...
hmm...
wonder if he reads my blog...
cos if not...
how come he noes stuff...
odd...
real odd...
lalala...
i not doin maths...
lalala...
*ka Bish!!!*
haiz....maths....haiz.....
i'm goin bonkers....
okay.
i feel like piercing my tongue.
good thing? bad thing?
dunno.
guess if i do so, its jus an impulse.
but its so cool....
darn. forgot sth.
guys pierce their tongues = cool.....
girls pierce their tongues = ...
sexual discrimination!!!!!!!!!!!!
ha..lookin at my previous entries.. i guess i shud quit whinning...
whinning aint good i think...at least for now..
but...
i think all gals...well most gals do whine right???
darn it.
i wish i'm not a gal.
okay. reasons? simple.
- u need not worry bout being too boyish
- u can wear big shoes n ppl wun sae u 'big foot freak'
- u can dun worry bout monthly stuff *ahem*
- u can jus sit however u wan and no one will say ' sit properly la..u gal leh...'
- u have more muscles
- u can eat a lot and its not a sin
- u can wear baggy clothes w/o lookin idiotic
- u can dye your hair and cut it off like in weeks instead of havin to dye it back
see... can do so much things...
why am i a girl?!!!
(told u girls whine didn't i? wad a perfect example. darn)
haiz. nothin can change this fact.
i wish i'm a boy...why cant i be one??
why am i a girl..
.
.
.
.
.
and the whining goes on.......................................
haha...econs is fun!!!
today jus blush super red in lecture!!! AARON is LECTURING!!! MUAHAHAHA...
oh...i dun think mac is nice now...fries is awful man...porridge is nice....haha..
ha. shit. die. just shoot me.
i'm jus pathetic.
i'm feelin real stupid.
promos comin.
wadz there to say.
jus dead.
gosh.
someone kill me.
ha.
i hate it.
NO FAIRYTALES
doubt if there is actually fairytales in e world.
doubt if there can actually be love. mebbe a little.
but is it possible tat one guy can jus die for a gal. doubt it. tat jus happens in dramas.
now i guess i'll prefer guys more realistic. oh, and i shud avoid leos who are real incompatible wit libras i think.
thinkin things might work out = retarded.
things in a relationship jus may not work out n its not bout givin it a shot anymore..
its bout bein sure. sure if u like him. sure if u noe he likes u more den u like him. sure if u noe u're willin to sacrifice time for him. sure if u're not gettin cheated. sure if u can protect urself from gettin hurt. sure if u can manage the sadness if the relationship breaks down.
after bein sure of all this, den u can CONSIDER goin into tat relationship.
ha.
wad a trouble.
so the conclusion is, forget bout these for now n jus get on wit e stupid education system n live a typical busy hectic Singaporean's kiasu lifestyle.
yea.
how nice.
=D
oh. i jus enjoy bloggin so much now. i can jus cricticise things whenever i want to. ha.
oh well.
an outlet for my frustrations too.
hmm. stupid fuckin download ringtone thingy is jus plain irritating and crappy. it's jus shitty la. download also cannot.wonder wad the fuckin hell is wrong wit it.
oh n i wonder if he read my blog. if not, how did he noe i actually dislike him? curious...
ha. oh well. not now anymore. guess i'll jus be kind. haha..as if i really am.. but no harm being frens..not exactly e best of frens but at e very least still can say 'hi there!' w/o gettin all awkward..haha.. the situation shud not be made worse den it already is... havin to get ard in skool yet tryin to ignore him is hard..either i see his classmates or i see him...everything i see is related to him..haha.. so yea..better off jus smilin everything off. real glad Mus actually thinks tat i always seem okay to him in skool which is good right. at least to others, i masked it all up quite well (is there such a thing? masked things?? ha.)
haha. i guess i always softened when he actually make e effort to explain himself. but hardened when i realise he's sorta insincere.
stupid wu hao told us tons of scary stories ystd.
freaked e hell out of me.
wtf.
oh. did i mention that i went to the bus stop to wait for the damn bus at 7 and it came at 720 causin me to be almost late for skool.damn.
oh well. managed to meet adeline at dere anyway.
kimchi is 'oh so hot' and such a cutie! with or without his specs.
muahaha.
i plannin to marry 2 guys. kimchi n Aaron. ha.
i'm crazy.
btw, single women contract less diseases n are healthier den married ones.
single men gets more depressed, commits more suicides and gets sick more often den married or attached men. ha.
how true. =P
ooOOoooo... Someone actually said i look like a kind person! muahaha. wad an irony. doubt i am one. perhaps jus sympathetic not kind. ha.
watched Nightwatch, a Russian movie bout The Other kinds of ppl- vampires, a teenie bit similar to LOTR in terms of some of the scenes..but its kinda cool tho hard to understand..luckily shaiful is there to explain. CAN U BELIEVE IT?! Shaiful, my darling brudder is actually an online movie critic! this is so cute! some more he got some kinda classes tat he set up wit the 'Monkey Leader'- Sports leader, Zul!! so cool lo..haha...ppl really change a lot man...wahahaha..
someone actually said vega un-enthu. luckily she's not someone i'm familiar wit. or i'll make sure her ear goes deaf. stupang.
*ka bish*
die le...really think i cant make it to jc2.. they say if i fail maths i'll be retained...better start lookin for courses that i can go in a poly...haha..
seriously i do think i have a split personality...
hmm..do a lot of ppl actually get voices in their head at times? like one tellin u to do certain stuff but yet another will jus tell u like dun do it and stuff???
is this bad?
hmmm.
today seems like a not bad day...everything seems to be well...goin rather smooth...
hmm..heard from my fren bout certain stuff..i guess its true tat when a relationship fails..both parties are at fault...no one's to blame in my opinion now... cant blame lo..cos i guess certain stuff no need for explanation one lo...so yea....
but i think gettin F for maths need some explanation- i'm jus not a maths person.
so why e hell did i take maths?!
i dunno either.
i love MR TAN!!!!!! econs lect he's e best man!!!! so nice voice!!!!!!!
today went all e way down to bugis to buy my bag...in e end i came back with po lo pau...cos the bag is sold out... so much for my trip...
darn.
WOW!!! my 'daddy' jus gt attached with this real pretty gal!!!! so happy for him...
he once lost his loved one... now he found his love again...so touchin!! :D
haha...
mebbe love songs aint tat bad for some ppl..
but for me...it is... for now...
3 weeks to promos.
i'm so dead.
i really hate this com. so irritating. ha.
hmm. i guess i dun exactly harbour hatred towards him. its more like a dissatisfaction.
i believe i'm a fellow human being so why cant he treat me like one?!
wadever.
hmm. i guess its real time to move on cos my damn promos is here.
keep gettin butterflys in my stomach...three more weeks. imagine tat.
darn. why am i still here.
shud go mug.
yet i real dread it.
i need more punk rock. not sad love songs.
darn. shud not buy love songs cds.
they sux.
i jus wanna die a lonely woman at the old folk's home.
ha.
i really have nothin better to do except blog. cos i'm waitin for my fren who is havin consultation...for the sake of satisfyin my craving for long john which i believed i said i wun go...haha...so have to wait for her for lunch.
went changi airport ystd n e day b4. it changed so much tat i seriously think i'll get lost there.
ate popeyes... first time.. it seems nice..
saw a lot of mediacorp artistes ystd. so cute.
haha.
die. someone beside me is doin PW. n i aint doin anythin for my grp.
shit.
i hate PW.
wad is it for man..
mebbe i shud not have chosen such a borin thing which have somethin to do with the arts and i aint good at it either.
plus my grp's onli guy. he aint doin stuff lo. kaoz.
is anger really tat bad?
having hatred towards someone is it evil?
when u dun like anyone is it a crime?
when u feel like killing someone...is it a spritual crime?
its jus so odd sometimes.
ppl regard suicides as a sin. so if i jus had a passing tot on killin someone..is it a sin as well?
if it is..i shud have sinned a lot. many would have sin a lot too.
how can one not sin? everyone does.
wad's wrong with tat?
forgiveness may be given. but its pointless right?
shit.
my brain aint working well these days.
not havin any peaceful slp these nights. not even a peaceful nap. why?
cos i keep thinkin or u can sae i was brainstormin on e perfect way to make him feel guilty n makin wanna kill himself so i wun have to kill him myself. haha.
wadever. as if i can really murder him.
well seriously, sometimes i really wonder if there aint restrictions of law in e world, who would kill who? perhaps e human population will jus die out b4 i actually can think bout this. hmmm.
if there aint laws, e first person to kill... who would u kill?
for me, the first person to die must be him. but come to think of it. maybe not. i guess i would torture ppl instead of killin em.
gosh.
i'm evil.
the evil of me is taking over the kind me. each day i live in fear. the fear that one day ppl will see me in e news for murder or for sadistic torture of ppl. the fear of me losing control.
this is real bad.
wadever. but i guess i might get giddy lookin at blood. not a good sign for someone wantin to be evil... hmmm.
yipee!!! i've got a new eye candy! haha.. so adorable!! =D
and yipee again cos i get to ignore tat bastard totally once skool starts...and i can jus treat him like a invisible dude!
to add on, he sucks in red n white attire...muahaha....
gosh. promos gonna be here in a mth.
my revision aint fruitful in anyway.
shit.
this is an attempt to convince myself to drop hatred.
well, he's not tat bad since he bothered asking ur frens bout how u're doin
and he's kind enuff to tell u tat he had not been able to see u ard in skool so he cant ask u personally how u're doin.
but he actually really could have done so via sms.
well he claims he care for u. as a fren n further emphasized tat its as a NORMAL fren.
tat's very kind of him to actually remind u tat u guys are jus frens. perhaps tat was a kind way of sayin 'i am not required to care for u cos i am jus ur normal fren so quit complainin n get off my back n stop botherin me'
well not exactly u're botherin him cos all conversations ended 10secs after it started.if u consider tat as botherin den yea. the conversations occur usually like once in every 2 or 3 weeks.
well he's kind enuff also to talk to all ur frens except u. n kind enuff to provide the excuse tat he's bz wit studies whereby he's online half of the time.
n he's EXCEPTIONALLY kind to actually not tell u in e face tat he dun like u anymore n provided the excuse tat he jus needs to concentrate on other things. oh my gosh. he's such an angel! SO KIND!!!
okie. i admit it. i'm jus plain biased n damn unhappy wit e fact tat he dumped me n the fact tat i'm stupid enuff to believe him.
oh well.
mebbe there's sth wrong wit my hse fengshui.
my relationships all failed me.
i like him, he dumped me.
if not, its i dump e guy.
must have sth wrong.
mebbe its a sign from heaven.
I SHUD DIE SINGLE.
die le...promos comin and i haven done much revision...
i again spent my time fruitlessly slackin ard...darn... kept thinkin bout the issue tat why couples after a break up cant even be frens...is it tat bad???
probably.
i hate AQs...i jus dunno how to write them.
gosh..i jus feel like killin tat asshole...
wadever.
hai.
so disappointed with myself.
why cant i jus let go of stuff.
must learn from xue wen n teresa.
bo chup is best. =)
NaMe: WeiNing
BdAe: 02101988
NiCks: MianBao;Chicken Little
SkOoL: MJC *currently*
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